45 days to go!

"What's in store for me in the direction I don't take?"

Jace will be here in 45 days and once again, I have no idea where we will be going once we leave the hospital.  It was planned that we would go to Richmond for six weeks while I was on maternity leave so Ryan could bond with Jace and learn what it was going to take to raise a child...after a certain bit of information that I had recieved on Saturday, though, it looks like that won't be happening. 

I had asked God for a sign as to why I shouldn't move to Richmond and, as much as it kills me, I recieved that sign.

It would seem that Ryan has found a new love interest and it isn't me...or Jace.  When I found out, all I wanted to do was crawl up and cry as hard as I could (I actually did cry as hard as I could on my way home from Richmond on Saturday).  After thinking about it, though, Ryan isn't worth my tears.  I may have hurt him, but he's hurt me 100 times more and that is not a person that I want to be with.  Jace is coming whether I'm ready or not and I have to be strong for him...so what if he doesn't have a father who wants to be in his life?  He has plenty of male role models who will love him and ONE day I'll meet Mr. Wonderful who will love both of us. 

45 days to go, and everything is going to be alright!